Second Chance? Stupid Me.

     So i was watched a serial film, 13 Reason Why. And I found a sentence "I waited for you, and I just had to sit there, Wondering. Imagining. Playing over all the different scenarios in my mind. I decided to give you one more chance. Stupid me." that was Hannah said. Actually that sentence thing happened to me. In my real life, and that's bad. Very bad. 

     well, since I have no one to talk about it (actually I have my friends who always listened to my endless drama. but don't think they want to hear about this one.) I want to write it down here. ehm, where should I start this story from? maybe from the first time we really talk about us? or should I start from when I realize that I have something that I cant handle? like a feel towards you? maybe? no, I guess I should start from here..

     I know we have something in common even though we never say it, or we never realize it before or maybe it is just me who feel this way too much? ah I think we both know about what we actually feel. 

     Is it normal that people say "miss you" to someone else who are NOT really in relationship neither in bestfriend-ship? No, maybe that's not normal. it's un-normal. I know it. but why'd you say that word to me? makes me feel someone missed me, makes me feel that someone needed my pressence, makes me feel that someone wanted. Why? 

     Then you started to make a promises to me. you said you wanted to take me to somewhere that i've never been there before. make a journey together. just the two of us. yes, definetly yes, that I am VERY excited. seriously why someone didn't feel excited if someone else asking you to go somewhere? 

     But then, it goes the D-Day. A day that i was waiting for sooooo long a go. Guess what? who's comin'? NO ONE! yepp no one. not even your call, your message, or anything! that day, I still wondering if you had something more important than go out with me. but yeah it's okay, I give you, your second chance to make your promises. But, you say nothing, and you didn't talk to me about the reason why you didn't come pick me and we can go. 

     And thats when I realize that I am so stupid. so stupid. like very stupid.